...He was a drugdealer. Very bad at it too, often taking the drugs before he even had a chance to sell them to someone. He wished and wished for the strength to not do the drugs but every single time he did them anyway.
His dad, Skarlett O'Leary Sr, encouraged his son's dream of being the best damn drug dealer this fine country would ever see. But his son's weakness was just too much. Skarlett gave up his dream of being a full time drug dealer and decided to become a full time drug addict instead.
He began entering drug competitions. His first time was shaky and he nearly overdosed. but he began to practice more and more and eventually won first place at a drug contest in Louisville, Kentucky. Soon he entered bigger contests in bigger cities and won them all. skarlett had a way about him; he injected heroin in a style no one had ever seen before and took cocaine in such large quantities that fellow competitors couldn't help but feel as if they were in the prescence of someone god-like. He was finally a great man.
The day would come when Skarlett would meet the ultimate great, the one and only Allen Lastersazen Jibralter-Cohen, an undefeated former drug addict/current drug dealer.
Allen approached Skarlett after watching one of his competitions.
"its an honor", skarlett said.
Allen smiled and replied "indeed. son, you've got something about you ive never seen before in an addict. ya got spunk & dont you forget it. ya got style and speed and an ability to take more drugs than even the most advanced drug addicts. its a rare quality and obviously a gift from God, Our Father, Lemmy. You got the goods kid, don't let me down."
Skarlett continued on with his good luck and incredible talent. But soon the pressure became too much. His agent kept booking him for more competitions and his fans expectations grew. As a result Skarlett began to neglect his drug practices and plunged into depression and extreme veganism.
He decided to take a break from drug competitions much to the dissapointment of his fans. Soon he became a total recluse and lived on vitamins and raw lettuce. His friends found him one day whacked out on vitamin B12. He died shortly after. His legend would live on though. And his story would continue to inspire millions of drug users. He was clearly heaven sent.
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