if you really loved me, you would let me pinch your tongue with my wet toes

if you really truly love someone, you would do anything for them pretty much, really, like rent out an entire McDonalds restaurant so you two can have some private time together at a quality price with burgers that cant be beaten

or get plastic surgert to look like Drake

or get plastic surgery and get all your vital organs removed and be reconstructed into that Gucci purse your girlfriend has wanted ever so much

FREE HOT LUV FOR ALL THOSE WHO QUALIFY

ALL APPLICANTS MUST GO THROUGH A CRIMINAL BACKGROUND CHECK AS WELL AS DRUG TESTING. ALL POTENTIAL CANDIDATES SHOULD BE IN A FAIR STATE OF HEALTH AND FREE OF SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES (ALTHOUGH SOME APPLICANTS WITH EITHER HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS TYPE 1 [HSV-1] or HPV ARE ELIGIBLE FOR AT LEAST "WARM LOVE" SERVICES)

respect your creator

That would be samuel l jackson.

new york

Everywhere in new york is a goddamned day care center. But no, when i was alive things were different. Folks had meaning. Life gave a damn. Spirits were on guard for random bad happenings. Planets were less retrogradey.


My vagina was different too. More accepting.

But times were a changing and here we have been. I cant wait to be taken away again. Back to the cementary with saturns ring and the amateur sketch of the mobile, Alabama leprechaun. Viva stereotypes. Always good for a laugh

Remember when i lived in Massachusetts for a sec? that was nice.

script, i waste no time on you

today is going to be the day, i can feel it.




sometimes i imagine potential tragic events. that and embarrassmentals. i imagine the pipe above my head exploding....maybe there is sewage in this  pipe and it splatters on me. i start screaming and running through crowds of people towards the nearest exit. eevryone around me is disgusted and mortified. the stench and crap on my
face helps clear my path quickly. i am literally covered in liquid shit and am slipping in it as well. sadly the smell keeps chasing me and everyone knows it. Christian Bale shows up and is all " 'th fuck??" and calls an ambulance for me.


the paramedics show up but its too late, im already half a mile away in the projects, screaming with my arms flailing. i have no $$ for a cab so i run 66 blocks home only stopping every now and then to barf. i watch a 6 year old slip in my puke and crack his head open. his parents sue me on the spot.. Completely lost in my own nastiness and misery, i neglect to notice the atomic bomb dropping behind me. Boom. thank goodness.

faster grandma, grandmas gaining on us!

when i get famous quotes:


"i dont want people to see me and say 'ohlook, its the Coors yellow can girl"

"i was born a virgin and ill die a virgin. theman who really loves me will want me just the way i am and will love me inside and out without ever really experiencing my insides"

"drinking the alcohol and doing weed are so not my things. nature is my drug"

to.this day lifes a dirtty rat to

You will never understand the beer in my hand and the freedom in my heart. You seem to  comprehend things.differently. Accept it and Acceptand accept things you dont agree with ecccept Bloood

Searching for a shrine he's never found.... RIP sweetheart

not gonna be able to sleep for a few weeks with this shit echoing in my head. still wishing this was some terrible joke

He has tasted good and evil in your bedrooms and your bars

And hes traded in tomorrow for today

runnin from his devils, Lord

and reachin for the stars

losin all he loved along the way

but if this world keeps right on turnin

for the better or the worse, all he ever gets is older and around

from the rockin of the cradle

to the rollin of the hearse

the going up was worth the coming down

he's a poet

he's a picker

he's a prophet

he's a pusher

he's a pilgrim and a preacher and a problem when he's stoned

he's a walking contradiction

partly truth and partly fiction

takin every wrong direction on his lonely way back home




not sure ill ever be able to listen to this song without trying not to cry

soren keer-keer-God?

omg. are you catholickkk? or are you socie? like socie-opath? do you own a bible? are you an emotionless psycho who only has feelings for your bible? Guess what! attraction toward your bible is the first step toward attraction to humanity!

attraction to humanity is a sign of attraction toward the group spirit! what is the group spirit? god is the group spirit! hurrah for god!

jk fuck that religious shit except for mine. i was born a snake handler and ill die a snake handler.

i havee to work for one day tomorrow and im poor and getting stupider

so despite teh bushwick open studios party i will stay home tonight and read. i will try to go to bed early. i will wake up tommorrow at 10:30 and be at work by 12. i work til 7 but most likely 8:30. ill see what other people are doing and maybe we can meet up. sunday i will be around for the last of the bushwick partteeze. then hopefully ill go to a show and get a free drank or two. i will leav somewhat early since must be awake by 9 for a food packing interview. maybe ill get my check    monday. THESE ARE MY PLANS. i hppe you enjoyed reading this monotonous post. i love you baby. kisses. luv you too. tell your mom i said hi and send her my love..

TONIGHT ON WORLDS MOST EMBARASSING HOOK UPS

BABY SLOTH AND PRIEST GOIN AT IT. BUT IS IT REALLY A CRIME IF THE PRIEST LOOKS LIKE A SLOTH HIMSELF?

big girls in quarantine b4 they head over to the small town of small girlz

im struggling to write because of something. my underwear has shrunk into a thong . a tight thong for that matter somehow its making it hard for me to breathe and so i keep gasping/yawning for air but it isnt working. im falling asleep. and with so much to do today..

whenever one of my crushes moves away, to me in my mind,theyve died. becahse in a way, arent they dead?

(the answer is No actually.)

so whenevr someone asks me about _____, i say, "he might as well be dead"  i dont see him or hear him. all i see are posts on instagram and.that shit aint tangible. that shit aint real and neither is he in my lil world

no more chutney

aqua teen. odd symptoms. gay dude hitting on me for the hell of it. lotta pooping. lots of tea and mexican stuff. roosevelt island. lack of cash. nostalgia. anxiety. yucky free beer. petes candy sto'.   country music. central park. WORD SEARCHES.

snush

snoosh, i dont wanna hear it from you anymore, i dont wanna go to school no more, ima just listen to the ramones and piss myself and see what the ramones wanna do. maybe they wanna be my boyfriend?

smelly

touche

i cant tell if youre poignant or pregnant.. ?

fat or profound?

we have become tea and sushi people

never thought id see the day but yes, its true. my mom 2.

thats very cute that you take shit seriously

i like the emotion in your eyes when you do stuff. are you an actOR?

are you my frannndd?

He held on to this piece of deer for too long..this deer was long dead in his hands but he continued to hold it because he said he was waiting for its soul to seep in.... to his pores i assume. He has ungodly looking pores on his hands. They look like tiny skin explosions. But they were still too big and ruined his modeling career.

Whenever he did get roles, he was held in the same office as heart attack victims. Everything waas heart attack proof; no windows or unpredictable objects/people /situations allowed. No cocaine or caffine. No faggy boys to scare away the old ppl. No high cholesterol thingies. Cheerios forever.

"im just trying to find some kind of meaning in life, ya know?" he said to one of the fellow victims in the heart attack unit. this guy didnt care what this washed up model had to say. big deal. you have big pores? i got a shitty heart. thats how he saw it.

so model-bitch sat waiting with this rotting deer still in his hands. the stench was becoming unbearable and violated some of the rules of the unit and was upsetiing the other people. he insisted that he would get rid of the deer as soon as he had his soul. one person was about to get up to complain to one of the nurses when something incredible began to happen. The deer carcass began to vibrate!

"here it comes!" model boy exclaimed

sure enough this strange thingy that can never quite be described began to make its way into model boys pores... i guess it was the deer soul but whatever it was, model boy must have been allergic because as soon as it made its way into his system, he collapsed and died on the spot.

It was against the rules to die in the heart attack unit (its scares the other patients) and so model boys carcass was taken to court. He was found guilty and sentenced to a "lifetime" of servitude as an organ donor. everyone in the courtroom wanted a piece of him, all but his hands.