if you really loved me, you would let me pinch your tongue with my wet toes

if you really truly love someone, you would do anything for them pretty much, really, like rent out an entire McDonalds restaurant so you two can have some private time together at a quality price with burgers that cant be beaten

or get plastic surgert to look like Drake

or get plastic surgery and get all your vital organs removed and be reconstructed into that Gucci purse your girlfriend has wanted ever so much

FREE HOT LUV FOR ALL THOSE WHO QUALIFY

ALL APPLICANTS MUST GO THROUGH A CRIMINAL BACKGROUND CHECK AS WELL AS DRUG TESTING. ALL POTENTIAL CANDIDATES SHOULD BE IN A FAIR STATE OF HEALTH AND FREE OF SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES (ALTHOUGH SOME APPLICANTS WITH EITHER HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS TYPE 1 [HSV-1] or HPV ARE ELIGIBLE FOR AT LEAST "WARM LOVE" SERVICES)

respect your creator

That would be samuel l jackson.

new york

Everywhere in new york is a goddamned day care center. But no, when i was alive things were different. Folks had meaning. Life gave a damn. Spirits were on guard for random bad happenings. Planets were less retrogradey.


My vagina was different too. More accepting.

But times were a changing and here we have been. I cant wait to be taken away again. Back to the cementary with saturns ring and the amateur sketch of the mobile, Alabama leprechaun. Viva stereotypes. Always good for a laugh

Remember when i lived in Massachusetts for a sec? that was nice.

script, i waste no time on you

today is going to be the day, i can feel it.




sometimes i imagine potential tragic events. that and embarrassmentals. i imagine the pipe above my head exploding....maybe there is sewage in this  pipe and it splatters on me. i start screaming and running through crowds of people towards the nearest exit. eevryone around me is disgusted and mortified. the stench and crap on my
face helps clear my path quickly. i am literally covered in liquid shit and am slipping in it as well. sadly the smell keeps chasing me and everyone knows it. Christian Bale shows up and is all " 'th fuck??" and calls an ambulance for me.


the paramedics show up but its too late, im already half a mile away in the projects, screaming with my arms flailing. i have no $$ for a cab so i run 66 blocks home only stopping every now and then to barf. i watch a 6 year old slip in my puke and crack his head open. his parents sue me on the spot.. Completely lost in my own nastiness and misery, i neglect to notice the atomic bomb dropping behind me. Boom. thank goodness.