Sunday, December 30, 2012
wise words from me
if you eat too much cheese you will get bloated and your poop will boil and youll have a firey hellish liquid poo coming out and your butt will have a hard time recovering.
falling down the stairs can help you put things back in perspective
shivering can prevent vomiting.
hello kitty is cute but her candy is really bad sadly.
your good looks won't last
beware of the boy who "falls in love" with you too quickly. his name is either mike, gary or something else.
apparently shaving the top half of your eyebrows off and drawing the extra piece that you shaved UNDERNEATHE your remaining eyebrow hair gives you a slightly sinister and seductive look. ive never looked better.
shaving lines into your arm hair is what you need to do when you are unemployed. be weary of razor bumps when the hair begins to grow back. not the best look
sometimes getting an allergic reaction to pimple cream is worth it. my skin is much clearer although i did get some hives and a coughing fit.
falling down the stairs can help you put things back in perspective
shivering can prevent vomiting.
hello kitty is cute but her candy is really bad sadly.
your good looks won't last
beware of the boy who "falls in love" with you too quickly. his name is either mike, gary or something else.
apparently shaving the top half of your eyebrows off and drawing the extra piece that you shaved UNDERNEATHE your remaining eyebrow hair gives you a slightly sinister and seductive look. ive never looked better.
shaving lines into your arm hair is what you need to do when you are unemployed. be weary of razor bumps when the hair begins to grow back. not the best look
sometimes getting an allergic reaction to pimple cream is worth it. my skin is much clearer although i did get some hives and a coughing fit.
salty salt salt boi, clowny clown clown clown
dont you make a face at me.
eye have the internet again. temporarily. we shall see.
so many drawings and paintings done. it was a good year for art. but thats about it id say.
lots of people died.
a friendish of mine died 2 days ago. very depressing. poor kid. i drunk dialed him 4 years ago in Salem once. asked him something about directions. hes not from there. we all had a good laugh. rip dude.
but one must move on i guess... no other choice
currently unemployed. i have $1000 bux saved. yes, i just told you, dear internet buddy. but you dont know where my money is hidden. it was once hidden in a kids in the hall dvd. i moved my money tho. speaking of money i need to go to the bank and cash in on all my change.
hoping my moody boss will take me back. he said he would...hmmmmmmmm......... i dont feel as if i were fired; it felt more like i got dumped. miscommunication, moodiness, x-mas gifts (money). weird dudeeeee. i miss our studio and being cold there. and making art. i even miss seeing that little weiner boy me and ana make fun of. i do NOT miss food from Greenpoint. so bad. Mediocre at best. good if youre starving.
oh 2012, you were a strange apathetic deathy- year. such a BORING year for love. omg. no boyz for me. maybe one soon if i ever see him again. fffffuuuuuuuuucckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk youuuuuuuu mannnnnnnnnnnnggggg
eye have the internet again. temporarily. we shall see.
so many drawings and paintings done. it was a good year for art. but thats about it id say.
lots of people died.
a friendish of mine died 2 days ago. very depressing. poor kid. i drunk dialed him 4 years ago in Salem once. asked him something about directions. hes not from there. we all had a good laugh. rip dude.
but one must move on i guess... no other choice
currently unemployed. i have $1000 bux saved. yes, i just told you, dear internet buddy. but you dont know where my money is hidden. it was once hidden in a kids in the hall dvd. i moved my money tho. speaking of money i need to go to the bank and cash in on all my change.
hoping my moody boss will take me back. he said he would...hmmmmmmmm......... i dont feel as if i were fired; it felt more like i got dumped. miscommunication, moodiness, x-mas gifts (money). weird dudeeeee. i miss our studio and being cold there. and making art. i even miss seeing that little weiner boy me and ana make fun of. i do NOT miss food from Greenpoint. so bad. Mediocre at best. good if youre starving.
oh 2012, you were a strange apathetic deathy- year. such a BORING year for love. omg. no boyz for me. maybe one soon if i ever see him again. fffffuuuuuuuuucckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk youuuuuuuu mannnnnnnnnnnnggggg
salty salt water taffy
"..well she's a little bit like you, she wears her heart on her sleeve and talks salty.." -Truman Capote
Saturday, November 3, 2012
A TRUE MOTHERFUCKING STORY (PROBABLY). it is called, THE SHITTY ARTIST
They found her hanging out in a ditch. She had been there for 3 days washing rocks. The girl was completely filthy and didnt seem to be aware of how bizzare the situation was. She was "disillusioned" by everything after her one true love broke her heart. He had chosen his career over her. His job making paper cranes was too hectic and time consuming and so he left her.
It was her decision after this to become a shitty artist and create a bunch of made up nonsense out of nothing. She once taped together a bunch of napkins to a salt shaker. This was supposed to represent purity. Another exhibit of hers was a piece of red construction paper folded in half with a small hole cut in the middle and a string going through it. Her most recent exhibit was actually herself sitting spread eagle on a pedestal after she had purposely contracted gential warts. The warts were almost symmetrical. This was supposed to represent GEMINI, sign of the twins. Too bad she was a Taurus. Once again "art" was made.
"it's amazing what heartbreak can drive you to do", the girl explained to the folks at the ditch and went on to say how she would never marry and planned on dedicating her life to being absurd and pissing people off by making thousands off of trash put together. This was her life. she was pretentious and she knew it.
It was her decision after this to become a shitty artist and create a bunch of made up nonsense out of nothing. She once taped together a bunch of napkins to a salt shaker. This was supposed to represent purity. Another exhibit of hers was a piece of red construction paper folded in half with a small hole cut in the middle and a string going through it. Her most recent exhibit was actually herself sitting spread eagle on a pedestal after she had purposely contracted gential warts. The warts were almost symmetrical. This was supposed to represent GEMINI, sign of the twins. Too bad she was a Taurus. Once again "art" was made.
"it's amazing what heartbreak can drive you to do", the girl explained to the folks at the ditch and went on to say how she would never marry and planned on dedicating her life to being absurd and pissing people off by making thousands off of trash put together. This was her life. she was pretentious and she knew it.
my one true luv skarlett
...He was a drugdealer. Very bad at it too, often taking the drugs before he even had a chance to sell them to someone. He wished and wished for the strength to not do the drugs but every single time he did them anyway.
His dad, Skarlett O'Leary Sr, encouraged his son's dream of being the best damn drug dealer this fine country would ever see. But his son's weakness was just too much. Skarlett gave up his dream of being a full time drug dealer and decided to become a full time drug addict instead.
He began entering drug competitions. His first time was shaky and he nearly overdosed. but he began to practice more and more and eventually won first place at a drug contest in Louisville, Kentucky. Soon he entered bigger contests in bigger cities and won them all. skarlett had a way about him; he injected heroin in a style no one had ever seen before and took cocaine in such large quantities that fellow competitors couldn't help but feel as if they were in the prescence of someone god-like. He was finally a great man.
The day would come when Skarlett would meet the ultimate great, the one and only Allen Lastersazen Jibralter-Cohen, an undefeated former drug addict/current drug dealer.
Allen approached Skarlett after watching one of his competitions.
"its an honor", skarlett said.
Allen smiled and replied "indeed. son, you've got something about you ive never seen before in an addict. ya got spunk & dont you forget it. ya got style and speed and an ability to take more drugs than even the most advanced drug addicts. its a rare quality and obviously a gift from God, Our Father, Lemmy. You got the goods kid, don't let me down."
Skarlett continued on with his good luck and incredible talent. But soon the pressure became too much. His agent kept booking him for more competitions and his fans expectations grew. As a result Skarlett began to neglect his drug practices and plunged into depression and extreme veganism.
He decided to take a break from drug competitions much to the dissapointment of his fans. Soon he became a total recluse and lived on vitamins and raw lettuce. His friends found him one day whacked out on vitamin B12. He died shortly after. His legend would live on though. And his story would continue to inspire millions of drug users. He was clearly heaven sent.
His dad, Skarlett O'Leary Sr, encouraged his son's dream of being the best damn drug dealer this fine country would ever see. But his son's weakness was just too much. Skarlett gave up his dream of being a full time drug dealer and decided to become a full time drug addict instead.
He began entering drug competitions. His first time was shaky and he nearly overdosed. but he began to practice more and more and eventually won first place at a drug contest in Louisville, Kentucky. Soon he entered bigger contests in bigger cities and won them all. skarlett had a way about him; he injected heroin in a style no one had ever seen before and took cocaine in such large quantities that fellow competitors couldn't help but feel as if they were in the prescence of someone god-like. He was finally a great man.
The day would come when Skarlett would meet the ultimate great, the one and only Allen Lastersazen Jibralter-Cohen, an undefeated former drug addict/current drug dealer.
Allen approached Skarlett after watching one of his competitions.
"its an honor", skarlett said.
Allen smiled and replied "indeed. son, you've got something about you ive never seen before in an addict. ya got spunk & dont you forget it. ya got style and speed and an ability to take more drugs than even the most advanced drug addicts. its a rare quality and obviously a gift from God, Our Father, Lemmy. You got the goods kid, don't let me down."
Skarlett continued on with his good luck and incredible talent. But soon the pressure became too much. His agent kept booking him for more competitions and his fans expectations grew. As a result Skarlett began to neglect his drug practices and plunged into depression and extreme veganism.
He decided to take a break from drug competitions much to the dissapointment of his fans. Soon he became a total recluse and lived on vitamins and raw lettuce. His friends found him one day whacked out on vitamin B12. He died shortly after. His legend would live on though. And his story would continue to inspire millions of drug users. He was clearly heaven sent.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
the ugly truth about people and shapes
To me, a triangle has always been the best shape. its perfect in an imperfect kind of way since there are 3 sides and 3 is an odd number. noone likes an odd number. except me. and some other people i guess. you just can't beat a triangle!
But there are a whole slew of shapes to remember. what does a favorite shape say about someone?
A circle to me has always been a soccer-mom thing. maybe im just thinking of a soccer ball but that's a spherical. A circle is fit for a soccer mom because its neat and friendly. Nothing at all rigid about it.
It would be easy to say that a square is for squares.. heh. a square is neat as well but not quite as friendly as a circle. a square is fit for a broad group of people, including nerds, neat freaks, serious people, introverts, well-balanced people, stubborn folk, hard headed folk, 'go getters" and so on.
rectangles are meant for business men. everything about a rectangle reminds me of business. money, tall buildings, tall rigid looking men. carpenters as well. there is something very masculine about a rectangle.
Ovals are feminine.
Trapezoids are for homeless people, alcoholics and miscellaneous. farmers?
Dodecahedrons... you really have to earn that one. Dodecahedrons are meant for true geniuses, eccentrics as well as complicated people,.. the mentally ill. And posers. fuck posers.
don't even get me started on octagons. im not into stop signs.
But there are a whole slew of shapes to remember. what does a favorite shape say about someone?
A circle to me has always been a soccer-mom thing. maybe im just thinking of a soccer ball but that's a spherical. A circle is fit for a soccer mom because its neat and friendly. Nothing at all rigid about it.
It would be easy to say that a square is for squares.. heh. a square is neat as well but not quite as friendly as a circle. a square is fit for a broad group of people, including nerds, neat freaks, serious people, introverts, well-balanced people, stubborn folk, hard headed folk, 'go getters" and so on.
rectangles are meant for business men. everything about a rectangle reminds me of business. money, tall buildings, tall rigid looking men. carpenters as well. there is something very masculine about a rectangle.
Ovals are feminine.
Trapezoids are for homeless people, alcoholics and miscellaneous. farmers?
Dodecahedrons... you really have to earn that one. Dodecahedrons are meant for true geniuses, eccentrics as well as complicated people,.. the mentally ill. And posers. fuck posers.
don't even get me started on octagons. im not into stop signs.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
art performance performance art (A CRITIQUE BY YOURS TRULY)
im watching some artsy performance and
its painful.
im watching and there are tears in my eyes. im not sure if it is from frustration, embarassment or just some kind of.... hatred. help me. im going to continue watching as the scene progresses and write down every thought and feeling.
the FORCED LAUGHTER. is fucking making me CRINGE. why? WHY? THIS ISNT FUNNY. YOUR ART ISN'T FUCKING FUNNY. i actually curled my knuckles.. i wonder if anyone around me has noticed... i am at an internet cafe. actually. to be honest, i am at a starbucks. (but i didnt buy anything, so don't worry)
okay, im going to continue watching this piece ...
I like the sounds the machines are making. but not the people performing.
here he comes..
the effort in the voices is not admirable. its weird. i dont know how to feel about one performer in particular
.... he said some word very strangely
where are you going with this performance? what the fuck is the point? oh right... there is none.
someone sounds like they have a stuffy nose. perhaps the most realistic/best part yet
becoming repetitive.
annoyed by the fact that im only a little more than halfway done with this crap
someone please tell me the point
here comes that forced fucking laughter, AGAIN
the stuffy person squeaked
i sense sexual tension between 2 of the male performers. is it 4real? part of me hopes so
somebody says their "O's" weird... kind of like me. but i have an excuse, im a grrl ;)
this is becoming stupid again. rambling .
my eyes are closing.
one moment! one brilliant moment of realness... it actually lifted my spirits. it was a split second of a brilliant performance, the tone of voice and the sentence spoken. made the past 30 seconds worthwhile... but still does not make up for the past 10 minutes
okay finally finished this shit. what a waste of time. just like the blog entry! I Hope youre as frustrated as i am. but no, im def more annoyed than you, whatevz.
its painful.
im watching and there are tears in my eyes. im not sure if it is from frustration, embarassment or just some kind of.... hatred. help me. im going to continue watching as the scene progresses and write down every thought and feeling.
the FORCED LAUGHTER. is fucking making me CRINGE. why? WHY? THIS ISNT FUNNY. YOUR ART ISN'T FUCKING FUNNY. i actually curled my knuckles.. i wonder if anyone around me has noticed... i am at an internet cafe. actually. to be honest, i am at a starbucks. (but i didnt buy anything, so don't worry)
okay, im going to continue watching this piece ...
I like the sounds the machines are making. but not the people performing.
here he comes..
the effort in the voices is not admirable. its weird. i dont know how to feel about one performer in particular
.... he said some word very strangely
where are you going with this performance? what the fuck is the point? oh right... there is none.
someone sounds like they have a stuffy nose. perhaps the most realistic/best part yet
becoming repetitive.
annoyed by the fact that im only a little more than halfway done with this crap
someone please tell me the point
here comes that forced fucking laughter, AGAIN
the stuffy person squeaked
i sense sexual tension between 2 of the male performers. is it 4real? part of me hopes so
somebody says their "O's" weird... kind of like me. but i have an excuse, im a grrl ;)
this is becoming stupid again. rambling .
my eyes are closing.
one moment! one brilliant moment of realness... it actually lifted my spirits. it was a split second of a brilliant performance, the tone of voice and the sentence spoken. made the past 30 seconds worthwhile... but still does not make up for the past 10 minutes
okay finally finished this shit. what a waste of time. just like the blog entry! I Hope youre as frustrated as i am. but no, im def more annoyed than you, whatevz.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
vemovenmvemavaivaivaem
the peas im eating taste like fucking clumps of dirt. and now i have to buy a new cellphone. i have lost 95 pathetic contacts. fuku2.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
hop on pop in the shittiest bar you can find. i am there in spirit. or in "spit", because that is what i had originally typed.
i think that one of my biggest goals in life is to actually change someone elses life. i know ive already accomplished it because ive been told so. but i would actually like to see it for myself, in progress. step by step, i wanna be able to know for sure that i did do something good and that it will stick with them forever.
basically, i want to be a tattoo. really, thats all i want.
Monday, January 30, 2012
schlomy
15%/18 minutes left of juice on this laptop. a boy gave up his table for me at starbux so i can sit here and write the blogpost. how kind of him.
and this post is about nothing.
and this post is about nothing.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
catching wind
running across the lake (i have that much talent, i dont even need to swim), there is a funny grin waiting for me across. this grin happens to belong to someone that im rather fond of. he is wise with his words and so am i, but as of lately, i havent been reading much and some vocabulary words have flown out of my brain.
and so A conversation begins and i have all the right words in my mouth but theyre so jumbled because i didnt bother to organize them before or even figure out if thats really what i wanted to say. i didnt study and i didnt rehearse. charm doesnt always come naturally although it should for the most part. sometimes when you give up on the world and people, you become rusty which i have.
the words were supposed to flow but they became skewed and began to spew much like a scratched cd (remember the 90s?). you can tell my intentions are good and that i have some kind of intelligence but my style is all wrong. i wore the wrong outfit today on my tongue. plaid tongue on top of polka dot teeth.i done fuckt up. im sorry.
and so A conversation begins and i have all the right words in my mouth but theyre so jumbled because i didnt bother to organize them before or even figure out if thats really what i wanted to say. i didnt study and i didnt rehearse. charm doesnt always come naturally although it should for the most part. sometimes when you give up on the world and people, you become rusty which i have.
the words were supposed to flow but they became skewed and began to spew much like a scratched cd (remember the 90s?). you can tell my intentions are good and that i have some kind of intelligence but my style is all wrong. i wore the wrong outfit today on my tongue. plaid tongue on top of polka dot teeth.i done fuckt up. im sorry.
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