"NEED A GIRL THAT I CAN TRAIN, NEED A GIRL THAT I CAN TRAIN, TURN YOUR BACK N RUN NOW, YOU HAVENT GOT A CHANCE NOW"

"WOW! HEY IM FUCKIN IN THE MOOD!"

and i apologize

for all the previous angst but it needs to be released every now and then

I REMEMBER WHEN THIS VOLCANO HAD INTEGRITY

shit changes

don't hide it, provide it

running in circles along saturns rings. its a strange sensation.. "you've never been??".

I...can't... quite...get....it..!!

grrrrr! ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh rrrrrrrrrrugghhhhhhhhhhhhh ahhhhgg! help! oh hi. oh hi there. pleased to meet you. good to see you. will you be staying long? oh i see, it's a nice day out. its hard to catch a day like this in february. its hard to catch a lot of things. but apparently not colds. i should get water soon. im becoming dehydrated. im losing a lot of fluids, i should see a doctor in fact because my health is failing and my lungs are ready to give. you didnt know? i thought you knew... ...but what about you? you are my brother, and i am concerned. our family is familiar and you are my new brother but you aren't except that you actually are and how would our family reunions work? you don't know me well enough for them to work. but again, you do. you are my familiar brother , there is nothing new about you even if we kept on meeting for the first time. i am not an acquaintance. i know you know me. and what about me? ...but what to do with pooorrr crrraazzzyyy tats? "too crazy for boys town... too much of a boy for crazy town! the child was an outcast!" what do i do? where do i go? all of my silbings are gone, not one left. maybe its time for a new family. one thats a little more familiar.

I am angry

I had a dream about waiting. For 2 different people and they either a) ditched me or b) took way too long. fucking stupid, fuckity fuck, fuck you, im not waiting for anyone.

beauty?

"by reading the book of THOTH, you will learn the language of the beast, how to see the wind, and how to hear the sun, the secrets of the stars, and the song of the gods'

out of this world romance. warm dog and cold cat

cold night, warm dinner. warm food and cold wine. cold atmosphere, warm spacesuit. 4 of cups and aleister crowley

i wrote this in 7th grade to the tune of the Foxwoods song and i still think its brilliant

writtwn about my middle school


collapsing ceilings in the classrooms,
explosive toilets in the bathrooms,
dont try to flush it or round and round youll go!

our school is small!
our school is cheap!
the floors have holes so youll have to leap - just to get- across the halllllll!

lets learn for the wonderrrrr, of it all! (meet me at middle school!)


hehehehehehehe. i lost a lot of my magic through out the years thanks to adulthood and alcohol

what do i like?

expand

suns gone. and once again, gods on the side of the road trying to decide whether its time for spring again. well i'll tell you one thing, if i had the energy and time i think i can influence his decison.

im not precious, not one bit and whoever thought i was had the wrong idea. women are not precious and neither are men. its not decided that way. it was never decided by gender. all gender did was promise a baby or not. because women held a baby she was the carrier, she was supposed to protect it because physically her stomach did and it was inside her. it developed an organ. andmen?theirjob was done almost. but to raise it, and make sure this thing could survive the real world.

but going back to what i started with, why could i influence his decision? maybe because i never saw myself as neither. in my mind and when i speak to people,i dont speak as a girl or woman or man. i speak as myself and im not any of those things. physically yes. i have a vag and i can give birth. but it doesnt make up who i am. i was just given part of a 'machine'. let it cum, and pop em out. noone sees themselves as just what they are. my genitals mean nothing.

a dramatic period

there might not be a change outside but there's one going on within.

rotted

first time and probably last that i will touch this subject. because its ugly. but it needs to be acknowledged.

loyal friends. loyal boys. i have lots of strands of hair. i wake up with 6. not because i lost any because theyre all stuck together and without my permission. ill stay quiet for the family.

rotten

i have this vision of a sun setting somewhere in the midwest in a field. its almost dark tho, the sky's still reddish but it gets darker as it goes higher up, the colors i mean. reddish to purplish to dark blue and finally, near-black. moons out, like duh. thank god for thhat because without it you wouldnt be able to see the coyotes running through the weeds. theres a bunch of them, and theyre not all close together. theres 2 running up front, ones a little more up front, one slightly behind. there are 3 running behind them sorta in the middle of their pack, their speeds change a little, sometimes ones a little faster, then one gains speed and catches up.

there are 2 more behind, teeth gleaming, theyre really trying to catch up, tryna leave as fast as the red in the sky is. frankie nw stubs is nowhere in sight but you can hear him screaming like a goddamn banshee. its a scream/sing. hes either saying 'i want the moon' or 'patrick kills me'. im not sure. maybe he said both.

end.

eyes are heavy again

but this time because im tired

A FOCUS GROUP ON BPD

and i cant even register because im not 25. what the fuck.

I WANT 50 DOLLAR STORE CREDIT AT TRADER JOES

erotic thrillers for children

i do it fo' da children


songs to put old people to bed. music to wipe your ass to. guns to shoot with.

(0)(0) images to tell the blind about

drawings for the semi-intelligent


tragic tales to laugh to or alongside of

boiling hot erotica for naughty nuns


100% real chicken for vegans


gigantic asses for the super slender


an elephant stomp for a slimey stink-ass snake

for milo

im standing up on the counter licking up dishwater. fajitas were made last night so im sure there was some fajita juice. i cant tell. either way, this water pleases me. i think ill drink some more. ok im done. now to get down...

somethings been bothering me and its hard to figure it out. im pacing back and forth now. shittttt. this sucks. its so early and everyones asleeep. maybe i should go sleep next to them? or walk around some more. whiiiiineee. sorta hungry. sorta have to poop maybe. theres a box in the corner, should i.. nahhhhhhh. whiiine. and im hungry. i think ill just eat whats on the floor. or eat up martha. that might sound vulgar but i dont mean to be. after all, i got my sister pregnant. she has babies. 3 i believe, i dont remember. i miss my babies/nieces/nephews. i miss my sister.

in physical pain

i remember high school

and sitting in the auditorium. 9th grade. they say freshman year is the hardest but it wasnt, it was one of the best times of my life. ever. i had friends, i had freedom and crushes and stalkers and chelsea and chelsea market and 31 year old men. but anyhow. the auditorium. do you know how crazy it is? i dont remember why i was there. a talent show maybe? it was on a friday i think. 7pm. but i dont remember anything about the show! just that emo boys face. didnt he realize how obvious it was? he just kept his head totally turned the entire time. staring at me. even when the lights dimmed and turned on brightly on the stage, i could see the stage lights reflecting off his nerdy glasses because he was facing ME. i never understood why. it was a typical forbidden-high school romance. i was a tuff lil colorful punk chick and he was a nerdpussy. emotional looking too. ('she was a punk, he took ballet, what more can i say?-avril lavigne , except i changedit)

never did anything about it. i had enough boys on my mind already. 1 punk, 1 31 year old man and a gaydude who i didnt know was gay but eventually found out.

i had an interesting life at 14.