Sunday, December 30, 2012
salty salt water taffy
"..well she's a little bit like you, she wears her heart on her sleeve and talks salty.." -Truman Capote
Saturday, November 3, 2012
A TRUE MOTHERFUCKING STORY (PROBABLY). it is called, THE SHITTY ARTIST
They found her hanging out in a ditch. She had been there for 3 days washing rocks. The girl was completely filthy and didnt seem to be aware of how bizzare the situation was. She was "disillusioned" by everything after her one true love broke her heart. He had chosen his career over her. His job making paper cranes was too hectic and time consuming and so he left her.
It was her decision after this to become a shitty artist and create a bunch of made up nonsense out of nothing. She once taped together a bunch of napkins to a salt shaker. This was supposed to represent purity. Another exhibit of hers was a piece of red construction paper folded in half with a small hole cut in the middle and a string going through it. Her most recent exhibit was actually herself sitting spread eagle on a pedestal after she had purposely contracted gential warts. The warts were almost symmetrical. This was supposed to represent GEMINI, sign of the twins. Too bad she was a Taurus. Once again "art" was made.
"it's amazing what heartbreak can drive you to do", the girl explained to the folks at the ditch and went on to say how she would never marry and planned on dedicating her life to being absurd and pissing people off by making thousands off of trash put together. This was her life. she was pretentious and she knew it.
It was her decision after this to become a shitty artist and create a bunch of made up nonsense out of nothing. She once taped together a bunch of napkins to a salt shaker. This was supposed to represent purity. Another exhibit of hers was a piece of red construction paper folded in half with a small hole cut in the middle and a string going through it. Her most recent exhibit was actually herself sitting spread eagle on a pedestal after she had purposely contracted gential warts. The warts were almost symmetrical. This was supposed to represent GEMINI, sign of the twins. Too bad she was a Taurus. Once again "art" was made.
"it's amazing what heartbreak can drive you to do", the girl explained to the folks at the ditch and went on to say how she would never marry and planned on dedicating her life to being absurd and pissing people off by making thousands off of trash put together. This was her life. she was pretentious and she knew it.
my one true luv skarlett
...He was a drugdealer. Very bad at it too, often taking the drugs before he even had a chance to sell them to someone. He wished and wished for the strength to not do the drugs but every single time he did them anyway.
His dad, Skarlett O'Leary Sr, encouraged his son's dream of being the best damn drug dealer this fine country would ever see. But his son's weakness was just too much. Skarlett gave up his dream of being a full time drug dealer and decided to become a full time drug addict instead.
He began entering drug competitions. His first time was shaky and he nearly overdosed. but he began to practice more and more and eventually won first place at a drug contest in Louisville, Kentucky. Soon he entered bigger contests in bigger cities and won them all. skarlett had a way about him; he injected heroin in a style no one had ever seen before and took cocaine in such large quantities that fellow competitors couldn't help but feel as if they were in the prescence of someone god-like. He was finally a great man.
The day would come when Skarlett would meet the ultimate great, the one and only Allen Lastersazen Jibralter-Cohen, an undefeated former drug addict/current drug dealer.
Allen approached Skarlett after watching one of his competitions.
"its an honor", skarlett said.
Allen smiled and replied "indeed. son, you've got something about you ive never seen before in an addict. ya got spunk & dont you forget it. ya got style and speed and an ability to take more drugs than even the most advanced drug addicts. its a rare quality and obviously a gift from God, Our Father, Lemmy. You got the goods kid, don't let me down."
Skarlett continued on with his good luck and incredible talent. But soon the pressure became too much. His agent kept booking him for more competitions and his fans expectations grew. As a result Skarlett began to neglect his drug practices and plunged into depression and extreme veganism.
He decided to take a break from drug competitions much to the dissapointment of his fans. Soon he became a total recluse and lived on vitamins and raw lettuce. His friends found him one day whacked out on vitamin B12. He died shortly after. His legend would live on though. And his story would continue to inspire millions of drug users. He was clearly heaven sent.
His dad, Skarlett O'Leary Sr, encouraged his son's dream of being the best damn drug dealer this fine country would ever see. But his son's weakness was just too much. Skarlett gave up his dream of being a full time drug dealer and decided to become a full time drug addict instead.
He began entering drug competitions. His first time was shaky and he nearly overdosed. but he began to practice more and more and eventually won first place at a drug contest in Louisville, Kentucky. Soon he entered bigger contests in bigger cities and won them all. skarlett had a way about him; he injected heroin in a style no one had ever seen before and took cocaine in such large quantities that fellow competitors couldn't help but feel as if they were in the prescence of someone god-like. He was finally a great man.
The day would come when Skarlett would meet the ultimate great, the one and only Allen Lastersazen Jibralter-Cohen, an undefeated former drug addict/current drug dealer.
Allen approached Skarlett after watching one of his competitions.
"its an honor", skarlett said.
Allen smiled and replied "indeed. son, you've got something about you ive never seen before in an addict. ya got spunk & dont you forget it. ya got style and speed and an ability to take more drugs than even the most advanced drug addicts. its a rare quality and obviously a gift from God, Our Father, Lemmy. You got the goods kid, don't let me down."
Skarlett continued on with his good luck and incredible talent. But soon the pressure became too much. His agent kept booking him for more competitions and his fans expectations grew. As a result Skarlett began to neglect his drug practices and plunged into depression and extreme veganism.
He decided to take a break from drug competitions much to the dissapointment of his fans. Soon he became a total recluse and lived on vitamins and raw lettuce. His friends found him one day whacked out on vitamin B12. He died shortly after. His legend would live on though. And his story would continue to inspire millions of drug users. He was clearly heaven sent.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
the ugly truth about people and shapes
To me, a triangle has always been the best shape. its perfect in an imperfect kind of way since there are 3 sides and 3 is an odd number. noone likes an odd number. except me. and some other people i guess. you just can't beat a triangle!
But there are a whole slew of shapes to remember. what does a favorite shape say about someone?
A circle to me has always been a soccer-mom thing. maybe im just thinking of a soccer ball but that's a spherical. A circle is fit for a soccer mom because its neat and friendly. Nothing at all rigid about it.
It would be easy to say that a square is for squares.. heh. a square is neat as well but not quite as friendly as a circle. a square is fit for a broad group of people, including nerds, neat freaks, serious people, introverts, well-balanced people, stubborn folk, hard headed folk, 'go getters" and so on.
rectangles are meant for business men. everything about a rectangle reminds me of business. money, tall buildings, tall rigid looking men. carpenters as well. there is something very masculine about a rectangle.
Ovals are feminine.
Trapezoids are for homeless people, alcoholics and miscellaneous. farmers?
Dodecahedrons... you really have to earn that one. Dodecahedrons are meant for true geniuses, eccentrics as well as complicated people,.. the mentally ill. And posers. fuck posers.
don't even get me started on octagons. im not into stop signs.
But there are a whole slew of shapes to remember. what does a favorite shape say about someone?
A circle to me has always been a soccer-mom thing. maybe im just thinking of a soccer ball but that's a spherical. A circle is fit for a soccer mom because its neat and friendly. Nothing at all rigid about it.
It would be easy to say that a square is for squares.. heh. a square is neat as well but not quite as friendly as a circle. a square is fit for a broad group of people, including nerds, neat freaks, serious people, introverts, well-balanced people, stubborn folk, hard headed folk, 'go getters" and so on.
rectangles are meant for business men. everything about a rectangle reminds me of business. money, tall buildings, tall rigid looking men. carpenters as well. there is something very masculine about a rectangle.
Ovals are feminine.
Trapezoids are for homeless people, alcoholics and miscellaneous. farmers?
Dodecahedrons... you really have to earn that one. Dodecahedrons are meant for true geniuses, eccentrics as well as complicated people,.. the mentally ill. And posers. fuck posers.
don't even get me started on octagons. im not into stop signs.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
art performance performance art (A CRITIQUE BY YOURS TRULY)
im watching some artsy performance and
its painful.
im watching and there are tears in my eyes. im not sure if it is from frustration, embarassment or just some kind of.... hatred. help me. im going to continue watching as the scene progresses and write down every thought and feeling.
the FORCED LAUGHTER. is fucking making me CRINGE. why? WHY? THIS ISNT FUNNY. YOUR ART ISN'T FUCKING FUNNY. i actually curled my knuckles.. i wonder if anyone around me has noticed... i am at an internet cafe. actually. to be honest, i am at a starbucks. (but i didnt buy anything, so don't worry)
okay, im going to continue watching this piece ...
I like the sounds the machines are making. but not the people performing.
here he comes..
the effort in the voices is not admirable. its weird. i dont know how to feel about one performer in particular
.... he said some word very strangely
where are you going with this performance? what the fuck is the point? oh right... there is none.
someone sounds like they have a stuffy nose. perhaps the most realistic/best part yet
becoming repetitive.
annoyed by the fact that im only a little more than halfway done with this crap
someone please tell me the point
here comes that forced fucking laughter, AGAIN
the stuffy person squeaked
i sense sexual tension between 2 of the male performers. is it 4real? part of me hopes so
somebody says their "O's" weird... kind of like me. but i have an excuse, im a grrl ;)
this is becoming stupid again. rambling .
my eyes are closing.
one moment! one brilliant moment of realness... it actually lifted my spirits. it was a split second of a brilliant performance, the tone of voice and the sentence spoken. made the past 30 seconds worthwhile... but still does not make up for the past 10 minutes
okay finally finished this shit. what a waste of time. just like the blog entry! I Hope youre as frustrated as i am. but no, im def more annoyed than you, whatevz.
its painful.
im watching and there are tears in my eyes. im not sure if it is from frustration, embarassment or just some kind of.... hatred. help me. im going to continue watching as the scene progresses and write down every thought and feeling.
the FORCED LAUGHTER. is fucking making me CRINGE. why? WHY? THIS ISNT FUNNY. YOUR ART ISN'T FUCKING FUNNY. i actually curled my knuckles.. i wonder if anyone around me has noticed... i am at an internet cafe. actually. to be honest, i am at a starbucks. (but i didnt buy anything, so don't worry)
okay, im going to continue watching this piece ...
I like the sounds the machines are making. but not the people performing.
here he comes..
the effort in the voices is not admirable. its weird. i dont know how to feel about one performer in particular
.... he said some word very strangely
where are you going with this performance? what the fuck is the point? oh right... there is none.
someone sounds like they have a stuffy nose. perhaps the most realistic/best part yet
becoming repetitive.
annoyed by the fact that im only a little more than halfway done with this crap
someone please tell me the point
here comes that forced fucking laughter, AGAIN
the stuffy person squeaked
i sense sexual tension between 2 of the male performers. is it 4real? part of me hopes so
somebody says their "O's" weird... kind of like me. but i have an excuse, im a grrl ;)
this is becoming stupid again. rambling .
my eyes are closing.
one moment! one brilliant moment of realness... it actually lifted my spirits. it was a split second of a brilliant performance, the tone of voice and the sentence spoken. made the past 30 seconds worthwhile... but still does not make up for the past 10 minutes
okay finally finished this shit. what a waste of time. just like the blog entry! I Hope youre as frustrated as i am. but no, im def more annoyed than you, whatevz.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
vemovenmvemavaivaivaem
the peas im eating taste like fucking clumps of dirt. and now i have to buy a new cellphone. i have lost 95 pathetic contacts. fuku2.
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