ca$h

Technically, my existence is performance art. The question is, when will i get paid?

my legz itch

perhaps its time to get new ones.

We can tell you are from the suburbs by the amount of lawn chairs you have indoors

Currently existing but only behind closed doors. As far as everyone is concerned ive meshed with internet space and technically im just a website with feelingss now.

But the internet is cool and feelings are making a comeback so im pretty confident i have nothing to worry about.

happy birthday whoever you are

here is some birthday love coming from my mouth. my body says "here ya go!" but my heart says "thank you for your time. Until you make another rich, satisfying discovery , be happy with what youve got, who youve got and who will give ya what. i know that may sound like a mouthful but hey thats what blow jobs are for"

heaven sent

in heaven , there are no divas allowed so you can forget about Beyonce being there. There are no angels chilling on clouds either since clouds are where heavens tears are stored which means that everyone has to stand......







but im told when youre there you never feel like you have to sit

Family night never originally consisted of savage beatings

But you might say boredom drove us to it. That and too many Fireball swigs in our system.

i remember telling Stephanie, "Gosh, if only i could knock out Georgie (my great grandpa), hes such a smug motherfucker with his wisdom and all".  And that night i got the courage thanks to the Fireball swigs riding stallions through my veins. .....He was in the midst of telling us about the best blow job he ever got when i took him by the remaining bits of his horseshoe hair and knocked him out. I couldnt deal with his mysoginistic ways anymore and although i was new to the feminism thing (im actually 72 hours into being a feminist), i knew what i had done was right.

Then my idiot brother joined in on the fun by smashing a bottle over my head. I don't remember much after that.

My father decided that enough was enough and he emptied out the cat on to everyone in the living room. He then proceeded to whip us with his iPhone charger.

eventually things settled down, we all shook hands and went to the Olive Garden as originally planned. But it really makes you think.....were the fireballs responsible for our behavior..or did they just release what was already inside?